another "craBby" entry.. >.<

haish haish haish haish haish haish haish haish haish haish haish haish haish haish haish haish haish haish haish haish haish haish haish haish haish haish haish haish haish haish haish haish haish haish haish haish haish haish haish haish haish haish haish haish haish haish haish haish haish haish haish haish haish... *long long sigh* these arent sighs of relief.. if oni they are.. haish.. I always tell them nt to sigh too much.. very bad fer health.. will die faster de.. hah.. i tink i m dying soon den.. Been sighing alot recently.. =( haish.. bu dui wor..=S *sheesh*

Seriously speaking.. I reali cant get used to this stupid life of mine.. itz lyke.. nth ever goes well fer me.. Fer those whu are close to me.. you all shld noe.. haiz.. why huh? Do i reali deserve such a life? Made lotsa wrong decisions.. thus worsening the situation of my life.. haiz.. Now here i m in the arts stream.. when i truly belong to the sciences.. hah.. how stupid can i b? I still rmb.. after the o lvls.. i swore to sum of my frenz tt unless i m dead, i wun take ane more arts subjs in the future.. hah.. but yet, being rash n stupid.. i made the decision fer sumone.. n ended up me suffering the consequence.. How dumb can i be? hah.. Sumhow.. i can nv becum lyke the typical arts students.. nt even close.. hah.. i juz cant adapt.. itz the air that surrounds them tt kinda made me feel lyke avoiding.. Orite.. no matter wat.. ther is still sum beautiful souls in the arts stream.. nevertheless.. but itz oni "SUM".. i can even count them wif my fingers.. my klassmates are part of them of cuz.. =D heez.. i miSs the science stream.. ppl ther are more sociable.. more sensible.. more friendly.. more lovable.. at the very least.. they dun tok wif the same sarcasm n bitchy-ness as sum arts students does.. haiz.. juz wish tt.. i wun becum lidat.. i DUN WAN!! hah..

Juz now toking to junhaO.. nw kinda feeling beta ler.. itz great frenz lyke him whu kip me persisting on in my life.. great frenz whu motivate.. whu cares..=) thanks ppLz..=D

160805

Sheesh.. todae is supposed to b a short n hapi dae de... But cuz ysd i din slp well again.. ended up being very slpy in sch.. haish.. oh wells.. let's start off toking abt todae first.. hmm.. had netball during PE.. heheh.. damn fun lorh.. but kip crashing into helmi n clement.. very sweaty!! haha.. oh wells.. it wus great fun.. long time nv play netball ler.. =/ hmm.. had gp compre test todae.. tough.. cldnt conc again.. haiz.. oh wells.. guess i wld juz flunk it badly.. =( haish..

Orite.. haiz.. things haf been happening so faz tt i cant stop or prevent it.. shucks.. this sux.. ysd nessa showed me sumthing in sch.. kinda shocked me very badly.. then i went hm to cry.. Why am i crying again?! haiz.. stupid lah.. itz none of my business anemore.. why shld i even care? why?!?! cow ish rite.. i m dumb.. i m stupid.. haiz.. guess i m too softhearted ler? i duno.. it juz hurts to see things becum lidat.. all i wan is fer him to b hapi.. but yet.. i cant help now..=(

oh wells.. juz now before i left sch.. nessa wus toking to me.. i juz kinda started tearing again.. den cindy walked past.. n asked "whu bullied u? tellme! damnit!" she nearly made me burst into tears on the spot..haiz.. oh wells.. shldnt tink so much ler.. i m tired.. reali tired.. all i can do ish juz pray fer him.. =/

140805

hmm.. first of all.. muz wish my gd gd fren yvonne "hapi bdae".. hmm.. oh wells.. this morn i woke up damn early.. cuz ster asked me to mit her at 920.. I din slp much ysd.. my back hurts badly.. cuz of the sunburnt.. very painful norh.. can die..=( oh wells.. met annas on the wae to the mrt station.. he wus on his wae fer floorball training.. soo sporty.. haha.. well.. me hao bu rong yi made it on time.. oni to find tt ster overslept..*abish* well.. then.. me went lib mit hong.. haha.. then when ster came.. we all started mugging.. haha.. me.. juz kinda slacked.. reali no mood norh..=( oh yarh ya wen came to join us cuz her frenz were so damn noisy..

during lunch.. we went to take neoprints.. haha.. very very very very nice.. haha.. =D muz frame it up.. haha.. nxt time muz take more!! oh yarh.. then suz outside the lib, gt the marie france bodyline roadshow.. yawen initiated tt we go fer the free fat analysis.. haha.. n so we went..wus in marie france bodyline waiting fer our consultant.. then me took hong's phone n started taking pics again.. haha.. wo hen zi lian sia..=Pp geez.. oh wells.. the analysis is tt i m underweight but i haf gt fats! haha.. wOo~ haha.. i m nt thin.. haha.. =Pp oh wells.. muz build more muscles.. haha..=D todae had lotsa fun!! haha.. =)

oh wells.. me go watch tv liao.. take caree pplz.. =)

130805 *sunburnt*

heyhey.. nth to do.. juz felt lyke blogging.. haha.. oh wells.. ysd slpt kinda late.. but i woke up kinda early todae.. haha.. so nt lyke me.. Used to pig out till late afternoon de.. haha.. Well.. then me went to the swimming pool wif sis.. Now kena sunburnt badly.. *ouch ouch* sheesh.. shldnt haf stayed so long.. but it wus great great fun.. heheh.. oh wells.. though i din do ane studying todae.. but i had fun.. so whu cares? =Pp *bleah*

hMm.. less than two mths to promos ler.. hmm.. or rather to b more specific.. 46 more daes to my promos exams.. haha.. time reali flies manx.. oh wells.. hopefully, i can get pass it safely bahx.. let's hope tt my results allow me to stay bahx.. ysd, my civic tutor asked us to set our targets.. heheh.. i tink i m kinda crazy de.. me wrote dwn.. A fer maths.. B fer geog.. B fer econs.. A1 fer chinese.. B4 fer GP.. almoz impossible.. mE always drming of the impossible.. lolz..

oh weLLs.. tml gona start TRYing muggin ler.. haha.. reali hafta try.. =) gd luCk to me..=) ppL.. muz study hard too.. n take care of ur health=)

120805

Heheh.. finali it iSh fridae ler.. Waited sho long long.. haha.. Todae ish a stupid dae.. Ysd, or rather this morn.. i slpt at 1 am.. Wus watching the release of results for Superstar.. haha.. hell lorh.. i wus crying awae.. haha.. though i dun reali tink derrick has the potential.. but see him cry.. i oso cry.. very sad fer him.. haish.. he is cute lah=) haha.. ended up nt doing my gP portfolio.. heheh.. slackerish attitude.. *bleah*

Oh wells.. todae i very blur lorh.. haha.. forgot my specs.. Wus so blind fer the whole dae.. haha.. assembly sux totally.. we hafta "learn" writing testimonials.. haha.. so stupid.. hmm.. well.. gp wus fun.. the debate wus an eye-opener.. haha.. hMm.. after sCh, went stadiUm to run again.. haha.. timing improved alittle.. but still nt enuff.. i m still training hard.. oh wells.. itz tough.. haha.. after tt, went swimming pool wid ster n hong.. haha.. nearly drown as usual.. haha.. Wus lying in the pool n chatting wif ster.. haiz.. reali miss the past.. the worries-less sec life.. the freedom n happiness i had..oh yar..no shuaiges ther again..hai ster so sad.. haha.. Den me went sports hall.. trying to look fer my bro.. but cuz i wus half blind.. haha.. cldnt spot him among the many badminton players.. heheh.. *sheesh*

oh wells.. tml going drowning again.. haha.. no lah.. juz wana sun tan.. haha.. as though i nt dark enuff>,< take lotsa care pplz~ i misS eUu all='(

120805

todae start sch after quite long a break.. Cldnt reali get in the mood of studying manx.. sheesh.. oh wells.. Wus feeling damn slpy fer the whole dae basically cuz i din slp well ysd.. duno why.. juz cldnt get to slp=( *sobx* lessons were basically okay on the whole.. but my eyes juz refused to kip open from time to time..=/ haish

well.. todae i gt back my chinese common test.. Got the highest in klass.. well.. alittle elated.. but still nt satisfied.. my compre i did quite badly.. wus so disappointed in myself.. haiz.. n i din even put in my best lorh.. i din bother to study.. now quite regret..=( sheesh.. Slacked during Gp lesson.. wus busy munching awae.. lolz.. todae wus a long long dae.. nearly cldnt laz manx..well.. here i m at hm.. gona get started on my gp portfolio n stuffs.. dun tink i nidda slp tonite ler.. sheesh.. bad luck seh.. whu asked me to b borned a slacker? heehe..sian.. oh weells.. tml going out wif ster.. woots~ looking forward seh..=D haha

Me change song also.. heeheh.. my fav.. twinkle twinkle little star.. ~

*baCk! baCk!*

mE baCk! me baCk! haha.. me changed my layout ler.. finali!! nice mahx? haha.. i m starting on a new life.. new beginnings.. heez.. yar.. matt.. new frenships too.. *winkx* Time reali flies w/o us realising it.. Though time seems draggy n torturous when we are faced wif unhappiness n hardships.. but nevertheless.. when we look back, we wld realise tt time passes real fast.. Oh wells.. my resolution is to cherish all the gd times.. n live my life to the fullest=D

heheh.. wells.. ySd watChed tHe nDp on the net.. hmm.. different feelings this yr.. kinda overwhelmed wid different emotions.. last yr.. i had feelings of happiness n joy.. this yr.. i felt hapi in a different context.. i felt hapi tt i managed to stay alive thru the struggles of life tt i haf.. i felt hapi tt i still haf frenz whu reali care.. i felt hapi tt a yr has passed.. though things are different now.. but at the same time, i believe tt i gona b happier soon..=D

Hmm.. oh well.. the same old jiaxin ish back.. haha.. gona b more cheery =D hmm.. oh yar.. gona congrat zeS.. haha.. finali settling down ler.. heheh.. muz jiayou worx.. i wana see her sOon! haha.. kampate!=)

Oh yar.. this paragraph is dedicated to Raine..my dear pretty fren cum counsellor.. Hmm.. i reali hope tt u haf tot things thru seriously before making tt decision.. reali no regrets? hmm.. itz gona b hard to let go of things.. i understand.. but no matter wat.. i wish u all the best in all tt you do.. Haf faith, my dear gurl.. N rmb to b hapi n smiling always.. take care~ =) Jiayou worx.. =)

Oh wells.. ster darLing bu shuang ler.. i muz go do my hwk before she blows up.. haha.. buaiz ppL~ Will update as often as i can..=) tata~

*high high high.. up in the sky.. =D*

Here i am.. blogging again.. haha.. emm.. itz kinda pitch dark outside.. cant see wher i m.. heheh.. well.. i m still on my wae.. ard 7 more hrs to go.. Sheesh.. maeb lata i will take my nap.. haha.. Oh wells.. juz now finished reading one novel.. haha.. Juz kinda too bored ler mahx.. Lolz.. Well.. the novel reminded me of lotsa things.. =/

hmm.. gt one typical... old fashioned qn... which i pondered abt cuz i wus reali too BORED here.. "If tml is the end of world..wat wld u do? Or how wld u spend ur last dae?" Hmm.. if tml is my last dae alive.. well.. most ppl wld spend it wif their loved ones.. haha.. for me.. haha.. wif my great frenz bahx.. haha.. they are the ppl i loved most rite nw.. heez.. =D Oh wells.. juz now tot of minglin.. esp wat she used to sae abt me.. sheesh.. after so many things tt happened.. i m kinda slowly..very slowly.. finding back my old self.. lyke wat mL said.. i used to b "a people's person".. yea.. i tink i m going back to tt ler.. no longer the selfish me.. whu oni cares blindly abt sumone whu dun even deserve it.. soRy frenz.. wellwell.. i duno lah.. now trying nt to tink so much ler.. I juz wana change.. haha.. change back to a nicer "people's person".. sumone whu is always ther for my frenz.. haha.. Gona b stronger.. n more independent.. n better in everything i do.. as for other things.. haha.. heck lah..

Oh wells.. hopefully everything goes well for me frm nw on.. =) i'll survive no matter wat.. *anewae matt.. frenships laz longer than anething.. though i m still considering.. haha.. wish me luck*

National Dae ceLebratiOn =)

hey.. todae wus the national dae celebration.. Met von n sharmi to go sch tgr.. hmm.. reached sch.. lyke enter poly lidat.. oni tt everyone wus wearing a standardised red top.. haha.. hmm.. well.. the ceremony wus okay lah.. juz alittle gitch sumwher.. haha.. hmm.. then celebration performances were great.. esp the old folks.. haha.. so cute.. ka wa ii neh..>.< then.. me n evon n fiona *the three musketeers of pae 05S10* were going crazy singing.. wif the council n band ppl at the back of the hall.. so fun!! wOot~ haha.. so damn hyper.. heez.. whu cares abt wat ppl think? haha.. oh wells.. me hapi jiu hao rite?=D

Hmm.. me will b gone.. for 72 hrs.. haha.. but i borrowed my cousin's laptop.. so i will b online still...heheh.. ster.. dun miss me too much ya? haha.. take care..=D oh wells.. gotta rush liao.. Bb~ take care pPl..=P

070805

Juz reached home nt long ago.. Heheh.. Todae woke up quite late.. First ting i called up ster darLing.. oNi to realise tt PIG wus still in bed *abish* hmm.. Well.. then mE went to ster darLing's place to study for the whole afternOon.. haha.. wad a fruitful dae! hmm.. crapped alot..ate alot.. gosh..i m growing fatter ler.. haha.. hmm.. then i realised one thing when i went to her bedroom.. i wus so damn shocked! My eyes were practically popping out! Gosh! i saw my sec two pic.. the one i took wif my gd fren zhili.. IN THE TOILET.. haha.. n i wus wearing my nerdy specs.. wah liew.. sO funnIe lorh.. shEesh.. ster.. can i beg u to take it off ur desk? sheesh.. itz sOo ugLy.. haha..@@

Oh wells.. tml ish national dae celebration.. then supposed to b smart n casual dae de.. end up MUZ wear RED shirt.. diaoz.. sian.. sheesh.. hmm.. feel lyke going back bp for the celebration.. but lyke no one is going back lidat.. haiz.. sian diao.. alright..hopefully tml is a nice nice dae.. =) happie national dae ppL=)

050805

Wayhey.. it iSh..emm.. 11 plus now.. haha..Kinda late.. Normally, i wld be snoozing in bed norh.. todae special heheh.. haha.. Actuali kinda slpy ler.. but me stubborn.. i dun care.. Juz wana blog before i go orh orh.. heez..

Oh wells.. this morn.. i woke up damn early go mit minglin darLing.. haha.. she wus late.. *abish* hmm.. then me pei her go sch.. oni halfwae cuz i gona b late for sch ler mahx.. haha.. *bleah* oh yar.. minglin darling going camp todae.. wish her all the best.. muz haf fun wor=D Then me met joan.. crap all the wae to sch.. miss her so much.. =(

I wus practically very slpy for the whole dae.. So Soo soOo tired.. haish.. Cldnt conc at all.. *sheesh* Took my chinese test todae.. kinda stressed out lorh.. first time i so panicky for chinese.. gosh.. it wus tough.. =/ GP test neh.. i wrote crap.. tink totally out of pt ler.. but heck lah.. *bleah*

After sch.. me rushed to cwp to mit ster darLing.. haha.. Wus supposed to go swimming de.. but ended up i feel lyke running.. so we went to the stadium instead.. oh wells.. i realised how much i miss the tracks.. haha.. crap.. Hmm ster very lazy lah.. slow jog wif me one rd then slack ler.. haish.. me ran 400 metres.. n timed myself three times.. haish.. timing wus SUCKY!! i aimed for 1min15s de.. end up.. heheh.. i ran 1 min 55 s.. diao.. throw face..=( haish.. muz train hard ler.. muz get back into condition.. haha.. We slacked ard the stadium.. watch the wdlz wellingtons *tink spell wrongly* train.. haha.. their jerseys v striking! haha.. i lyke the color *wootz* then i saw these two indians doing 400metres too.. oh man.. they ran damn fast lorh.. within 1 min leh.. i wus so shocked.. @@ *dazed* cOol lorh.. i aim to b lyke them.. haha.. noNo.. nt as black..*oops* juz the speed.. heheh..=D

Finished slacking at the stadium.. me n ster went to the swimming complex to slack again.. haha.. nO shuaiges ther todae.. very little ppl.. tink cuz of the hungry ghosts festival bahx.. hmm.. well.. got acquainted wif this chiobu coach.. she reali very chIo.. no kidding.. =) hmm.. slacked ard..ate cup noodles for dinner.. kinda pathetic.. haha.. but nvm.. hmm.. well.. chitchat awhile.. me started tearing.. sian.. my tear glands duno why over active de -__-" haish.. maeb i shldnt tink back too much.. *sheesh* Duno lah.. haiz.. haiz.. haiz.. stupid me!

well.. Juz now wus reading thru the precious moment bk tt ish owned by me n minglin darling.. started crying again.. the entries.. reminded me of alot of things.. sheesh.. why things turn out this way? i dun get it.. i still dun.. Isit reali cuz of wat my frenz think? i dunO.. perhaps.. it's beta for me nt to know? i m juz.. confused.. well.. i miss sec life.. life is so much happier n lively then.. but now? things are so different.. sumtimes.. i even tot tt i mite juz collapse.. the tot is enuff to giv me shivers.. haish.. hopefully.. i wun.. nt nw.. =/

Oh wells.. i haf crapped enuff ler.. reali tired after all those running.. gtg ler.. BUaiz..~

040805

Hmm.. todae went sch.. I m still sick lah.. Haiz.. Sorry to haf made so many ppl worried.. Haiz.. I oso wana quickquick recover.. Sick very tongku.. Orite.. todae supposed to mit ster dear de.. but her muMmie dun let her cum out.. so sad.. sO long nV see her ler..=/

Oh wells.. Todae gt two tests.. Geog open bk.. kinda easy bahx.. I do finish.. then fell aslp.. reali very drowsy.. tired sia.. duNo why lidat.. then econs pretty okay lah.. i wus amazed at myself for being able to write sumthing out.. haha So nt lyke me..=/ Hmm todae got back geog tests.. So hapi ~lalala.. I scored nt too bad for sumone whu din study at all.. so hapi.. heheh..

emM.. muz apologise to vanessa.. n celest.. sorry gurLz.. i reali juz very tired.. i m kinda ok now.. dun wory for me ler.. i gona fine sOon..=) hmm i miss being hapi..=/ *sheesh* Miss alot of ppL tOo.. haiz.. *mogu!! wedding crashers out ler.. when go watch tgr?*

alright.. matt.. i m tinking hard abt wat u sae wor! haha.. emm.. emm.. *blush* okay.. ppL take care of ur health.. gDluCk for ur tests n exams=) ~tata

baCk tO scH ~lalala

I went to back to sCh todae.. after twO whOle daes of "holidaes".. Well.. Still kinda sick, but i forced myself to go sch nevertheless. Sheesh.. i m always so stubborn. Din reali slp well ysd. Duno y oso. hais. First thing went sch, went find darling celest. n ShaOfen to pass them their letters n stuffs. hmm.. then received lotsa greetings of concerns frm frenz.. *so touched* hmm i reali miss sch i guess.. emm.. oni the ppL.. nt the lesSons part.. Lolz.. haha.. todae.. we were slacking during Pw lesson.. played murderer.. lOlz..

oH yar.. Muz haf sum special mention for the people whu made my dae todae=D Hmm first n most imptly.. the PRF.. consisting of peiling.. suxian.. florence.. Liyi n Eileen.. thanks for ur card.. Reali very gan dong.. *hurhur* thanks for caring so much for me.. heez.. thanks for being ther for me=) Nxt.. emm eugene made my dae too.. haha.. he wus lyke "ehh jiaxin.. u okay ornt? If gt anething muz tell me.. i help u settle.. aneone bully u tell me.. i gt my brothers settle.. blahblahblah.." very funnie.. haha.. well at least i noe.. my frenz care..=)

Well.. todae gt back results.. haish.. disappointing.. i gt B for maths.. C for econs B for Geog.. B4 for chinese E8 for Gp.. reali saddening lorh.. haish.. but whu to blame but myself? haha.. i haven been studying anewae.. been slacking all along.. haiz.. wat to do? reali mOodlEss..=(

Got sumthing to apologise.. sorry pPl.. i m nt returning to the bP table..emm at least nt for the time being.. i juz dun wana make things awkward.. or rather be treated lyke i m invisible.. soRy..=/ Gotta go now.. buaiZ~

HAPI BDAE ZIN=D *haha* u are ONE year OLDER ler.. muz learn to act ur age wor.. =Pp hmm.. Dun stress too muCh.. life iSh tOo shOrt foR unNeccEsSary uNhapIneSs..=) takE carE=)

Stuck at hOmE~*haish*

haish.. i m still half blind seh.. >.<>

Oh wells.. laz nite chatted wif matt.. Had a reali NICE chat.. haha.. yea.. I miSs eUU matt..=D hmm.. well.. matt arh.. i haf tot abt wat u said ysd.. haha.. well.. seriously.. i duno lah.. me oso SHY mahx.. =X *sheesh* haha.. pPl iSh gOd.. me is onI ordinary plain oLd mE.. heez.. let's juz wait n see k? emm.. maeb.. maeb.. i mite take the initiative afterall.. haha.. it all depends lah..=D But then again.. i duno wher to start.. haha..=Pp Mite nid ur help still.. hMmz.. hope u are doing fine in aCjC.. how's ur fan club? haha.. muz update me sOon k?

Hmm.. this sat i organising iceskating.. i nid groups of four each in order to get unlimited skating time.. Hey peeps.. if u are interested, inform me before 12 midnite on fri.. haha=Pp hmm.. hope tt i can b fine by tml.. haish.. feel lyke resting forever...=/

siCk *sobx*

*sobx* I m soo sick.. Juz woke up frm my nap.. Haiz.. kena severe eye infection.. now see things very blur.. Even so, haha.. i m still online.. I m stubborn, i noe.. But whu will care? haha.. there is simply no one whu reali cares now.. =/ Being sick ish definitely a sad thing.. feeling weak all ova.. n unable to accomplished ane work.. All i can do is to slp n slp n slp.. o.O" N wat's worse? i m being stuck at hm for two whole daes. Hopefully, i will be fine tml.. I wana be back in sch.. Heard tt todae's chinese test wus tough? haha.. i dun reali care..

Juz now.. lying in bed.. i tot of lotsa things.. juz feel lyke penning it down here.. hmm.. Well.. i realised sth.. Watever NEGATIVE guesses or wishes i made always cum true.. Hmm.. three mths ago.. i guessed tt he wus twotiming me.. n BINGO! i even gt the gurl right. N, recently.. i wus chatting wif my fren ova the phone.. n i wus so pissed abt seeing tt eyesore in sch.. so i juz merely said tt i wished i wus blind.. n hey.. i m half blind now.. cant reali see clearly.. Shucks.. wat's next? Maeb.. it's all juz mere coincidence.. i duno.. *shrugs* i haf told sum of my frenz abt my guesses.. now.. we shall wait n see.. I juz dun haf a gd feeling.. i reali dun wan it to cum true..=/

Alright.. i oso tot of organising a chalet wif my gd gd gd gd gd gd gd GOOD frenz rite after promos.. But then.. i wus nv a gd organiser.. haha.. i will try nevertheless.. but i m afraid i mite not get gd responses.. Well.. i m leaving soon.. haha.. Nt reali tt hapi abt leaving anewae.. true.. wo already si xin ler.. but then.. i m still worried.. =/ hmm.. well.. dun care so much ler.. Sorry ster.. i din wana let u noe when i m leaving.. haha.. u noe how much i hate farewells.. =/ hmm.. i will be back de mahx.. haha.. i m letting my promos decide eventually.. hah..

Been thinking alot recently.. Life is reali reali short.. n good memories are worth more than the bad ones.. i wana create good memories.. heez.. hmm.. i still haf lots yet to accomplish.. Once i recover.. i will get back on the tracks n train my running again.. i haf slacked totally after those disappointments.. hmm.. n i gona take up new sports.. n master everything.. haha.. sounds so dreamy.. hmm.. well.. i will try nevertheless.. N for my promos.. i duno.. i will try hard.. triple As sounds very much lyke a dream.. but i will try.. but if i cant make it.. forgiv me.. i juz hafta leave.. *Sory ster* Wish me luck bahx..heh..

Sian.. my eyes reali jialat.. gotta go rest liao.. buaiz ppLe.. takecare~ Promos are cuming .. take care of ur health.. jiayoux=D

310705

Juz woke up not long ago.. Heheh.. Nan de okay? I used to be such a pig.. well.. My eyes still painful.. Hen tongku lorh.. =( well.. todae dun tink going anewher ler.. very worn out n sick.. haish.. =/

Hmm.. ysd nOon went for the JCDC (junior college debate competition) Reached ther.. saw Weiayng doing ushering.. haha.. chat wif him awhile then went to join my klass.. realised tt i reali miss him alot=(.. it wus the finals.. Raffles vs Hwa Chong.. hmm.. Wus pretty impressed by them.. Raffles won.. Actuali.. we were supposed to wait till the prize presentation then we can leave de.. but then.. the whole of us -gurls.. sneaked out during the refreshment time n went off.. haha..

Then.. me went cwp.. pei minghong.. then minglin darling came.. chitchat awhile.. then i went to find mogu n yan.. haha.. went eat.. tok lotsa craps.. then went watch 'The Island'. The theater wus damn cold lorh.. duno how tt yan can tahan de.. haha.. hmm.. well it wus a great movie.. kinda cOol.. things abt cloning rights.. etc.. n the actions scenes all nicely done.. nice..=) thanks to mogu's reccomendations.. Hmm.. thanks guys.. i had lotsa fun ysd.. =) thanks..=) Muz cum out more.. heheh.. =D

Well.. Ysd i learnt a cruel incident.. hmm.. realising how much of a jerk he is.. i m disappointed.. hmm.. well.. i can also do the same thing or more to him.. but.. hey.. why shld i degrade myself? i can easily win him at his own game.. haha.. but i dun wana degrade myself.. i m tired.. utterly disappointed.. but i m nt going to bear ane hatred.. i m juz nt going to care.. i m juz goin to quick quick finish up the remaining 1 yr n two mths of jc life.. n ttz it. i m nt going to waste ane more time on a jerk.. watever it is.. i will survive..=)

EverythiNg suX.... =(

Things just sux.. For those who already noe wat happened.. Well.. u all shld noe how bad i m feeling now.. tsk.. Call me dumb or wat.. Sumhow.. i m still worried for him.. Shucks.. I dun wan history to repeat itself.. Sumhow.. i cant understand why isit tt i get treated this way after everything i haf done for him.. Is it fair?? why huh? I dun get it.. haish.. what is tt i haf done wrong.. to deserve this? Nt tt i m regretting or wat, juz disappointed.. in him.. n myself? hah.. Why isit tt everything nv go well for me?

School.. is stressful.. but my relationship with my klass is improving bahx.. Spending more time wif them.. N kinda made new frenz.. n gotten to know more of each individual.. hmm.. but jc life still sucks.. BADLY.. But lucky me, i still gt frenz whu care.. Thanks pplz.. I m juz struggling.. Hope tt i can pull thru..=)

Itz beEn a lOng lOng timE.. =/

Well, it's been a long long time since i blogged ler. No wonder raine kip asking me to do so. Haha. Hmm.. Well.. Alot of things happened within a very short time.. Basically, i haf been crying lyke shit lorh.. Haiz.. Till now, i m still feeling the pain.. Juz hope i can be hapi SOON. I reali wana be hapi de. Hmm.. well, thru everyting, once again, i realised the importance of frenz.. n THE NOBLENESS of frenz.. I haf alot of ppl to thank..

MingLin -- 'flying' to my side wheneva i nided sumone.. for lending me a listening ear.. for giving me cuddly n comforting hugs when i m reali reali down.. for giving free counselling sessions.. *heez* thanks darLing =D love u sHo muChie~

Minghong -- He arh.. is more than a lib fren to me.. HE is my god bro.. haha.. He wus ther for me whenever i wus upset.. N sumtimes.. reali duibuqi him.. cuz sumtimes i cry in public.. kinda awkward for him.. but he said nth.. n waited patiently for me.. He is SsoOO nICE.. He is definitely a great fren.. aHh hOng, u R the bEz..

Esther -- Ster darLing.. heheh.. She arh.. such a sweetie.. Usually, i cry.. she oso pei wo cry.. haha.. n end up making me luff at our tear-stained faces.. She arh.. always so gentle n sweet to me.. soo touched.. Reali love u lotS ster darLing~

Raine -- She is one mature lady.. haha.. well.. though she already haf alot of things on her mind.. yet.. she nv fails to help me out by counselling me n tok sense into me wif her chim chim de philosophy.. haha.. She is reali niCe.. haha.. freNz 4eva ya? thanKs dear gurL..=)

SteveN -- LaO DA!! haha.. though he is kinda emm.. hooligan-ish.. haha he is a nice guy at heart.. nv fails to try knocking sense into me.. thanks for caring for me.. i reali appreciated alot.. =) u oSo muz take care k? dUn so streSsed.. jiayoU~

CeLest -- Todae oni gt chance to tok her abt everything.. whu asked her to be so busy?? heez.. hmm.. well.. sad case lah.. everytime we get to tok.. itz mostly bad news de.. sian.. hmm..well.. thanks for listening me out.. i guess u are the oni one among everyone else.. whu reali understands what i m going thru.. cuz u haf been witnessing everything frm the start.. haha.. thanks.. we shall be the best siStas foreva rite?? =) love u shO ~

bPiaNs in pjC -- always see them ard.. they are so nice to me.. always greet me wif a smile.. haha.. nv fails to cheer me up.. =) thanks lamsoon gang.. thanks khaibOon.. thanks shaofeN.. thanks evOn.. thanks everyone =) love u ppL sO muCh..~

weiqUan -- mY gd gd buddy.. last time used to quarrel alot.. but then again.. he is a great guy.. great fren.. great listener.. thanks moGu for being ther for me when i needed a fren badly.. frenZ forevA =)

jEr kOrkOr n deS kOrkOR -- these are two great guys.. always ther for me.. heez.. thanks kors.. reali appreciate ur care n concern.. xie xie ni men..=) love u all so muCh..

Hmm.. this is kinda getting long winded ler.. gosh.. no choice mahx.. i haf such mnay great frenz.. muz thank them all.. heez.. hmm.. well.. jc life reali sux man.. cant reali find ane new true frenz.. haiz.. i m kinda struggling wif my life now.. feeling so weak.. as though i m going to fall apart soon.. haish.. juz hope i can laz long enuff to settle everyting.. =/ take care ppLz.. i miSs eUu all..=.(

UpDateSss..

Hey pplz.. Long time nv update ler.. Wus kinda busy sorting out my messy life.. n sum saddening stuffs.. Haha.. okay.. letz update frm Wed.. Hmm.. Went iceskating wif ster dear.. minghong *my cutest godbro* n zavier.. Hmm.. Kinda fun lah.. Saw lotsa kids ther.. n Made lotsa frenz.. Then.. khaiboon n zester came to join in.. Haha.. Sho fun..=D Then my great dae ended stupidly wif me crying.. haiz.. wus very sad tt i hafta parted wif ster dear mahx. haiz..=(

then Ysd.. hmm.. I realised lotsa tings abt myself.. haha.. I m stupid.. Idiotic.. but fortunate.. =) hmm.. Well.. i din noe i cld cry for 8 hours nonstop.. haha.. i din noe tt i m fortunate of all the ppl tt i noe of.. But still i m learning..=) Dun wory pplz.. i will b strong enuff.. to get back up on my feet n face reality de.. haha.. thanks ster dear.. n reali thanks minghong.. haha.. for being ther for me.. haha.. i m sure u were all scared by my tears.. haha.. i m a crybaby mahx.. =P haha.. Well.. dun wory.. I will learn=) Well.. no matter wat... we all be frenz for life k?? Thats my promise to you all... hEez..=)

Well.. Gotta go ler.. Canot kip playing comp.. muz start studying ler.. Sch gona start soon.. SIIIIIIIIIIAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNZzzzzzzzzzz... Oh man.. haiz.... I Dun wana study ler.. *hmmph* Soooooo streSssssssssseDdddddddddd........... ARRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!

Signing oFf..

xiN~

Leadership Training Camp *LTC sibei jialat.. lalala*

Hey pplz.. i m back.. Wahahha.. i managed to survive the camp *hurhur* Hmm.. alright.. itz a miracle k? haha.. wellwell.. emm.. The 20 plus kilometres land expedition wus pretty tough for me.. Cuz of my heavy backpack.. Ended up with me having sore n badly bruised shoulders.. n the routes are all very muddy n full of potholes.. I had a slight sprain haiz.. Then.. Day two.. we had kayaking for 15km.. itz wus damn tiring.. my stupid FAT partner.. refused to paddle.. n i had to paddle all the wae back to the shore.. arrgh.. n the capsizing part wus horrible.. Oh yar.. my two teachers wus horrible too.. they kip scooping up dead n decomping creatures and threw at me.. arrgh!! hmm.. then day three.. weeeeeeeeee... high ropes.. whoopee!! haha.. so fun.. wellwell.. i did it again.. challenge pole wusno prob for me.. wanted to play again.. but another team came already.. well..one ting scary is tt.. we were being belay by our frenz.. there wus emmm.. nt much security in tt sense.. haha.. =S

welll.. campfire rox.. haha.. my team rox more..=P hmm.. then juz as we were happily enjoying our extended lightout time.. we had a fire drill.. As mos ppl were in the bath.. most of them were unprepared.. n we had to kip running back to our bunks... Then... after tt.. we went to slpa t 1.. but wus woken up at 4 for another fire drill.. oh man.. we had to pack our backpack within 20 mins n gather.. wat the.. arrgh.. then.. do jumping jacks wif silent counting.. diaoz.. kip redoing till i wus sick to the extent tt i hafta fall out.. then.. the rest proceeded to runnning 1.8km.. n then wus made to sing school song n the sch creed in the sea.. tt wus pretty nice i heard.. haha...

okay.. i gotta go ler.. buaiz.. shall haf more details nxt time.. buaiz..=)

Update!~

Juz updating.. haha.. Okay.. i finali on the way to recovery..haha Been going back to sch lyke siao.. Is this considered a proper hols?? haiz.. Todae gt back my GP paper.. OMG.. i flunk.. haha.. emm.. actuali itz kinda expected of me rite? ahha well..*shrugs* my english reali sux.. hurhur.. Hmm.. camp cuming ler.. i tink i gona die manx.. Got this 15 km walk frm PJC all the wae to MacRitchie reservoir.. DIEDIEDIE.. haha been pretty slackish in my training recently.. oh nonono..

Hmm.. nxt wk.. pretty busy.. MOn- going escape wif HONG-er *my cutest god bro* Tues- going back sch for pw..dear going macritchie wif his team.. Wed- going iceskating wif ster, honger, n dear thurs-going bbq fri gt camp briefing sian.. the whole week is so packed lorh=(

gotta go bath ler.. buaiz..=)

~siCK~

I m sooo siCk.. Been sick fer a long long time ler.. Almost a month ler.. haiz.. Cant seem to get well. I m feeling horrible.. terrible n everyting.. Kinda feel tt life sux. I m kinda stressed out again.. by everyting.. Arrgh! I juz wana b hapi.. Is it so hard? =( haiz.. Juz wished tt i can get thru this two yrs fast fast.. Forget everyting n leave singapore.. I guess.. i wun be cuming back after tt.. Bad memories.. I dun wana be reminded of.. Haiz.. =( Hey pplz.. if u see me walking ard lifelessly.. Dun wory.. I m juz struggling to stay alive. I m kinda falling back into depression.. This sux.. haish

No update on my life.. Everyting sux.. IF God hafta take awae sumone.. I wished it to be me.. than him..

~sAd..sadD.. saDdeSt bdaEe of aLL=(

Okay.. My bdae this year sux.. ttz all i can sae.. Saddening huh? hmm.. well.. i din celebrate much.. Nth memorable enuff to be recorded here.. Hmm.. But then again.. thanks to the pple whu wished me..=) the list is as follows..( in the order that they wished me).. thanks dear.. thanks ben.. thanks sharmila..thanks yvonne.. thanks ade.. thanks latifah.. thanks suhui (she called me n played a happi bdae songfor me on the spot.. so touched).. thanks esther..thanks panda.. thanks junhao.. thanks mogu.. thanks aHHHHhh lonG=P.. thanks khaiboon..thanks raine=) haha.. i tink ttz abt it.. i m a pathetic soul.. but thanks pplz=) Okay.. now for my dae..

Went to sch early in the morn.. For econs lessons.. Dear crashed the lesson with the permission of ms kat.. haha. then my klassmates were lyke.. "cuz itz her bdae todae..so crashers are allowed" haha.. Diao.. The lessons were okay lah.. learnt sumting. ahah okay.. then.. went to wait for everyone to gather.. Oright.. the stupid organisation team were walking so slowly behind.. while me n other heads walked in front.. then zav ccalled us to slow down.. wat the..

Then..went to the mrt station.. they were still deciding how to go thru the routes.. my god lorh.. i wus freakingpissed! itz lyke they were supposed to haf done it long time ago.. n our purpose wus to haf a tryout.. hmm.. then our first stop.. the stupid OG team.. forogt to check whether the food wus halal or not.. arrgh u can imagine how pised i m.. how stupi can one b? second stop.. the task wus to drink bitter tea.. suddenly the og team stopped after roaming and asked if i noe of ane place gt seel the tea.. ahhh.. iw us sick n tired.. n itz my bdae..=( other stops oso the same..=( oh yar.. then got one stop wus opp a main n busy road.. FULL OF CARS.. n as everyone noes i haf a phobia for crossing busy roads.. i stood ther for a long long time.. dear accompanied me..but end up i decided to take the overhead bridge.. the OG team wus luffing awae.. Okay.. ppl.. u mae luff at me.. but.. rmb if aneting happens..whu is to be blamed..? n maeb.. i wld be standing ther n luffing at ur stupidity when u lay ther half dead.. Itz not funnie.. itz the worst wae of dying.. So ppl ( i m refering to the OG team).. if u eva die ther.. dun expect me to help.. for i mite b evil enuff to juz luff at u..

Alright.. i m evil i noe.. but at least i m nt stupid..=) okay.. that wus how my dae went.. nth more..=( saddening.. i had to put up wif such stupidity n anger on my bdae.. this reali sux..=(

200505

Todae.. my klaz pplz helped me celebrate my bdae.. haha.. wif ms lee of cuz.. itz my honour manz.. =D thanks 05A07 =D hmm.. wel.. then me n evon decided tt on tues we will buy each other a slice of cake n celebrate tgr.. Heez.. kinda idiotic? bleah i dun care.. i luv it=D haha..

Juz received my third pressie.. itz kinda unique.. Very nice in fact.. i reali wana thank the person whu did it all for me.. thanks=) i love it..n in fact.. i m very touched by ur act.. thanks.. itz a great piece.. if oni.. u wld giv me the lyrics.. n sing it for me..=) thanks anewae..

Gotta go.. i reali hafta slp man.. tml gonna b a long n stupid dae..=(

4 daes...* i ain looking forward anemore* =_(

See my title? Haiz.. i m no longer looking forward to my bdae ler=,( Sum ppl is too busy to be bothered.. Reali sad lorh.. ARRGH! *hmmph* Fine! i shall find jer instead.. Hmm.. Todae had napfa.. redo my 2.4km.. wahahaha... i gt 14.19mins.. hmm.. gt improvement... but still nt satisfied=( besides.. haiz.. dear wusnt even bothered to be happy for me.. arrgh!

Wah seh.. jC life reali sucky lorh.. got so much stupid proj work tingy de.. Can die arh.. i hafta go do my GPP ler.. wad de.. No time to sleep ler..=( Alright.. take care pplz=) nItez ~xIN

uPdate..*countiNg dOwn tO...5 days more*

Hmm.. updating again.. Got back two tests todae.. hmm.. i got 7/10 for maths.. n 17/20 for econs.. n Guess wat? i din study =D haha.. bleah.. hmm.. I m slowly improving=) hMm.. But then again.. recently, reali feeling down.. duno watz wrong.. =( Been crying aLot.. haiz.. I am gona be dehydrated of my tears soon..hmm.. sad.. todae.. on the bus wif landy n gang.. wus tearing lorh.. Cuz i tink too much ler.. Duno why started tinking.. n landy wus lyke shocked.. so is his gang.. suddenly..everyone wus so quiet..n staring at me..=( haiz.. reali sAd..

tml napfa.. haiz.. nv been practising.. haiz..so i dun reali expect myself to do well lorh.. haiz.. todae econs teacher said this sat muz haf econs makeup!! oh man.. i wana slp in one lorh.. now make me wake up early in the morn on my bdae.. how bad can it be?? arrgh..=(

this is getting sadder.. gotta go ler.. i feel so slpy..=(

naPfa =D

Hey hey i am back again.. Heez.. Todae finali completed my physical fitness test.. Muahahaha.. I m so hapIe..=D Guess wat? I haf a silver *hurhurhur* Sho hapi sia.. i haven been passing since sec one lorh.. LoL.. STEVEN!! i finali can do inclined pullup ler.. haha..=P i did THREE todae.. Okay.. i noe ttz little.. but itz a BIG achievement for sumone whu cant even do one for three years..okay? WEll.. i m doing sum of the retests nxt tue.. Muz train hard ler.. I m retesting 2.4km to get an A.. my target less than 14 mins.. wahaha.. then.. retesting inclined pullups.. i wan at least a C... ambitious?? hmm then.. shuttlerun.. my timing sux.. oni a D... i wan a C too.. n lastly.. sit n reach.. wahaha.. i m basically retesting everyting lah.. hurhurhur... I still rmb last time..during sec four.. i used to giv up so easily.. n steven preached me until i cried..feeling so useless..haha.. now... i lyke so kiasu.. diaoz.. well gona sae a BIG THANK YOU steven=D

Hmm..though i hao bu rong yi cleared my test.. haiz.. Dear lyke nt sharing my joy.. he is too busy to even care.. =( sad lorh.. well.. he did quite well for his test todae too..hapi for him=) hmm.. i now so stressed out with studies.. can die ler lah.. tml nidda go vjc for the stupid comp thing again.. n i gt a econ test on thurs.. n a gp essay due on thurs.. n fri i gt gp n maths test.. wat the.. i m reali dying ler.. =(

Gotta go pia my proj work ler.. 'Cher said my PI draft is nt up to standard.. but i m reali too stressed to do aneting properly.. Jer.. wher are u when i nid u most kor?=,(

sIck n dyiNg =(

Ahhhh!!! I reali m dying ler.. I m coughing lyke hell.. Sumtimes i feel tt i cld juz vomit blood soon. NaH.. dun ask me to see doc. Dun waste money. Wad for waste money to take sum drugs? =S hmm.. yarh.. i m stubborn. I juz pissed dear off. But i nid to save up now. Gona b quite broke this mth.. I nidda save up for my frens' bdays dun i? haiz.. Besides i hate taking medicines. They make u drowsy..weak..to the extent tt u cant do work.. I dun wan!! i still nidda catch up on lotsa tings. Wat if.. i visit the doc, n he dianogsed it as sth else? Wldnt it b beta to b ignorant? Oh man.. here my cough cum again.. haiz.. Gona lose my voice soon again. haiz.. Later still nidda go sch for PW group discussion. Sian~

Hmm.. Update for this week.. I din haf enuff slp..n rest. i tink ttz why i m sick bah. Haish. Well.. had my 2.4km run this week. Haiz. I m re-running. I m disappointed at my timing though it already secures a high B. Well.. I tink i can do beta.. ttz why when i finish my run, i went to tell my teacher i will rerun.. Okay.. i noe i m crazy. Ttz wat my frenz told me. I juz wana do my best. Can't i? okay.. Then.. gotten back my econs test. 15 outta 25.. woohoo~ i passed even w/o studying. But still i m nt hapi. I wana do well.. maths.. haiz.. i nid lotsa practices.. Geog.. i still handling well..=) In order to conc properly, i haf withdrew frm all comp. haha. clever? haha.. ttz the opportunity cost i tink >.< Alright.. gona go prepare for sch liao.. Bb~

21 mOre daeS.. *cOuntiNg dwN*

I m baCk!! *hurhur* Long time nv blog ler. Been busy wif the competitions. Falling sick ler. Sad..=( hMm.. the coMpetition.. Haiz.. I m disappointed at myself.. more than aneone iz at me.. I noe dear is disappointed.. I haf dragged the whole team dwn wif me.. Sorry pplz.. But i reali sux at oral presentations.. Duibuqi.. I m seriously disappointing.. I haf made everyone's hard work gone to waste.. haish.. All i can do now, is to cross my fingers n pray tt the judges were kind enuff nt to notice me n let us thru.. I promise nt to do the speech part ever again.. Juz let us thru!!

Hmm.. 21 more daes to my bdae.. haha itz a little too early to be counting down.. *hurhur* Cant help it.. I juz haf nth beta to do.. hEez.. I haf a long long wish list this year.. I wan everyone to b fine n hapi.. i wan weelun korkor to get outta NS safe n sound.. i wana b hapi hapi hapi.. i wan all my frenz to b hapii too.. my gd gd gd frenz lyke minglin, stewen, matt, ceREst.. ahh.. everyone.. heez.. oh yar.. I wan my two other korkors to be happi too.. hmm.. now to my pressie list.. haha.. i wan lotsa tings.. wahaha.. well then again.. i shld b satisfied wid wat i m given n wat i haf..=) haha.. well i wan meaningful n sincere pressies!! haha.. last year bdae wus a surprise n great! thanks to matt n gang=D this year i wan.. a big bear hug n a card frm jer.. a bigbigbig pressie frm haO.. i miSs them so muchie.. well.. most imptly, i wan to haf dear to celebrate fer me.. but i doubt he will rmb.. haiz.. well.. juz as well.. i still gt a great bunch of frenz to pei wo=)

Life haf been sucky.. I m stressed out.. By lotsa tings>.<>

Night Jaunt rOx~

Juz woken up. Hmm. I Had night jaunt mahx. This morn then reach hm n slp de. I lacked two daes of slp so..*shrugs* Cant blame me.. =P

Hmm.. Well.. the night jaunt wus great in sum waes.. but still gt lotsa room for improvement=) hmm.. we started off wif the Night Safari. Hmm.. Went to see the animalz.. Kinda tiring lah.. Cuz i wus already lacking a dae of slp ysd.. Hmm.. I love the tiger!! n the giant flying squirrelS!! Sho cuTe.. esp their bushy tails.. Kawaii neh =D i m so in love wif the squirrels *hurhur* hMm.. Took lotsa pics wif dear n shaofen n yvonne.. Sho fun.. i m kinda becuming zi lian ler.. *hurhur*

Then nxt destination wus Changi Village. The one n only place wher the transvestites *i duno how to spell* gather. Haha. Our buses toured the area for three rounds. N guys on the buses were ogling at them.. Hmm.. itz lyke suddenly the bus became so lively.. haha.. Well.. i tink.. we kinda were too obvious.. tt when we were on our third round.. One beautiful transvestite bared her breasts.. Everyone wus lyke stunned.. then sum guys started commenting tt her breasts looked totally plastic.. lOl.. Hmm.. then we had sum chance of walking ard in the area.. N guys were warned to protect themselves frm being 'molested'... lOl

Hmm.. then off we went to east Coast lagoon for "dinner' at 1130pm.. Nth much much happened ther.. except tt i saw a butch in the ladies' n i tot i went into the wrong toilet.. lol

Next, wus the Old changi hospital.. We had a hard time finding the place.. cuz it wus so dark.. Hmm.. the place wus pretty eerie.. ghostly perhaps..=S But too bad we cldnt go in.. Wld haf been more fun bahx..heez..

Then off we went to Red hSe..Hmm.. the place wus too dark.. Cldnt see much.. Oni can see the two lion statues.. howeva i din takemore than a glance at them. Cuz it wus known tt the lions wld stare back at u.. =S hmm.. then after a while everyone wus made to leave hurriedly.. N i wus told tt the lions' head were noticed to be tilted to the sides.. though their bodies were still facing the front.. Eerie huh? =/

then.. went Geylang at 3+am For supper -__-" Hmm.. Then off to the esplanade to take pics.. N lastly to eat yummielicious cheesy prata near NUS.. yUm yUm.. Night jaunt wus definitely fun =) N i m going to make it more fun nxt year.. lOl.. hmm.. Nxt event up.. n i will b involved in organising ish the ' amunching race" Gona make it a big success =)

Gotta go now.. Very slpy again..=P

~xIn

~sIcK

I m sick.. Haiz.. Wana die ler. Very tired n sick.. Din haf enuff sLp.. Been super bZ wif scH..That iz why sho long nv update.. So sad..

Recently, been mixing wif dear's klassmates more than wif mine.. Opps! Nt reaLi on purpose de.. But i reaLi dun click wif the gals in my klass.. Ermm.. sum i dun reaLi lyke.. Kinda pretentious.. But most are nice.. Esp ppL lyKe sUuxiaN, aDeLine, eiLeeN, yVonNE, Liyi.. Hmm.. Got to noe great pPl frm dear's klass.. Landy.. vannesa.. wiNnie.. they are a great funky bunch of frenz lorh.. =)

Hmm.. Ysd went to watch "twelve nIght" the play.. Haha.. For those whu noe me.. I din take full lit.. haha.. Duno wat i doing ther oso.. haha.. Well.. hmm.. me n dear met landy n a guy call weizhong at cck ard 6pm.. Then on the train, they started to panick.. cuz no one noe how to get to the place.. wah lau eh.. Very funnie.. then itz lyke suddenly everyone bcum so bz, calling ppL for helP.. haha.. Me juz stood ther n STONED.. then reach tanjong pagar mrt wher we are meeting vanessa..

Then.. me, dear n weizhong went in search ard how to get to the place.. I asked dear n weizhong wat the place is called.. they told me is DBS theater.. okay.. so went asked the ctrl station master.. they asked us to go to the dbs building.. We ran ther.. IN THE RAIN.. so fun.. haha.. but realised it wus the wrong place.. so ran ard the whole area trying to find the place.. So fun.. running in the rain.. lyke amazing race lidat.. =P

Desperate.. We decided to take a cab.. So went back the mrt station to join landy in waiting for vanessa.. Hmm.. then.. Sumone called.. Said tt oni gt one ticket.. Dear refused to go alone.. Hmm.. Then Landy oso said he dun wana go oso.. Wahh.. At the moment hor.. i wus so touched lorh.. He sho jiang yi qi lorh.. =) Hmm.. when vanessa reached, we ran ard again.. cuz her mum said itz nearby.. But ended up canot find.. So went take cab.. The stupid cabbies.. refused to stop lorh.. then gt one stop for us.. BUt he duno how to go.. diaO.. Finali.. we gt the right address then flagged down another taxi to take us ther.. Me weizhong, n dear.. went first.. Then landy n vannesa gt on later than us.. On the taxi.. the stupid taxidriver so noisy.. so much crap-__-" hmm.. he cheat our money lorh.. Landy n nessa reached earlier than us when they had setted out later lorh.. wad da..

Finali arrived..Haha.. then saw another big group of ppL.. haha.. We were the oni LOST sheep..haha.. Well.. not long another we went inside during a short interval lorh.. had to stand for a while cuz the theater wus so dark tt we cant find our seats.. haha.. Yarh.. ysd wus damn fun.. n i ended reaching hm ard 12+.. n had so little slp tt i m sick now.. Well.. it wus worth it lah.. =)

Gotta go ler.. this entry is crappy enuff ler..tata.. ~xIn

310304

Heyhey! I m back.. Wootz~ Orientation ended on tues. Letz back track alittle.. Hmm.. orientation.. kinda boring lah.. KlasS werent tt enthu lorh.. Esp when playin the stupid game at the field.. I hafta run So many times to n fro juz becuz the gurls refused to move.. Arrgh! Hmm then.. orientation ended beautifully wif the dances.. haha.. I dragged dear wif me back to S10 to dance.. haha.. terence danced wif jiahui.. he wus dancing the gal part.. haha.. sho funnie. dEyun n riOdo.. haha.. suCh a sweet coupLe.. =p heez.. Well.. had lotsa fUn wif S10.. S10 stiL roX!

Wed.. Back to lessons.. Sian.. Din reali haf the mOod norh.. =( lUcky got terencecum pei wo during my long boring breaks..when dear is nt ard..=( then todae.. more lectures.. boring sia.. i went for all makeups.. haha..boliao.. realised tt ther is none for geog!! how can?? die ler.. i kinda scared! i kinda forgot alot of tings..=(

Sian..tmlgona b another stupid dae.. sobx.. gtg ler.. muz slp early.. i m sho tired..sho tired=( i juz wan everyone to b fine.. can?

310304

Heyhey! I m back.. Wootz~ Orientation ended on tues. Letz back track alittle.. Hmm.. orientation.. kinda boring lah.. KlasS werent tt enthu lorh.. Esp when playin the stupid game at the field.. I hafta run So many times to n fro juz becuz the gurls refused to move.. Arrgh! Hmm then.. orientation ended beautifully wif the dances.. haha.. I dragged dear wif me back to S10 to dance.. haha.. terence danced wif jiahui.. he wus dancing the gal part.. haha.. sho funnie. dEyun n riOdo.. haha.. suCh a sweet coupLe.. =p heez.. Well.. had lotsa fUn wif S10.. S10 stiL roX!

Wed.. Back to lessons.. Sian.. Din reali haf the mOod norh.. =( lUcky got terencecum pei wo during my long boring breaks..when dear is nt ard..=( then todae.. more lectures.. boring sia.. i went for all makeups.. haha..boliao.. realised tt ther is none for geog!! how can?? die ler.. i kinda scared! i kinda forgot alot of tings..=(

Sian..tmlgona b another stupid dae.. sobx.. gtg ler.. muz slp early.. i m sho tired..sho tired=( i juz wan everyone to b fine.. can?

310304

Heyhey! I m back.. Wootz~ Orientation ended on tues. Letz back track alittle.. Hmm.. orientation.. kinda boring lah.. KlasS werent tt enthu lorh.. Esp when playin the stupid game at the field.. I hafta run So many times to n fro juz becuz the gurls refused to move.. Arrgh! Hmm then.. orientation ended beautifully wif the dances.. haha.. I dragged dear wif me back to S10 to dance.. haha.. terence danced wif jiahui.. he wus dancing the gal part.. haha.. sho funnie. dEyun n riOdo.. haha.. suCh a sweet coupLe.. =p heez.. Well.. had lotsa fUn wif S10.. S10 stiL roX!

Wed.. Back to lessons.. Sian.. Din reali haf the mOod norh.. =( lUcky got terencecum pei wo during my long boring breaks..when dear is nt ard..=( then todae.. more lectures.. boring sia.. i went for all makeups.. haha..boliao.. realised tt ther is none for geog!! how can?? die ler.. i kinda scared! i kinda forgot alot of tings..=(

Sian..tmlgona b another stupid dae.. sobx.. gtg ler.. muz slp early.. i m sho tired..sho tired=( i juz wan everyone to b fine.. can?

go.Od frIdaE~

I juz woke up oni. Wahaha. Very tired seh. I slpt at ermm 2 am this morn? haha.. Ysd wus dae two of orientation2.. Hmm.. Last dae of the stupid talks n stuffs.. Haf been sitting in the hall till my butt is hurting norh.. However miraculously, i din fall aslp leh. Haha.. Well.. how to sae leh.. orientation so far is so sian.. alot of new intakes are so unenthu.. arrgh! Well, learnt the fun dance ysd. Seemz nice.. haha..

After dismissal, met yvonne, jiahui at concourse.. me n dear n them went to take bus 190 to riodo's condo.. Haha.. wus busy toking.. then forgot to get off the bus at the right stop.. Went all the wae to tanglin ther.. then hafta take another bus back.. haha.. so funnie.. Reach the condo.. oni to find likai, kokpeng, n deyun n sophia ther oni.. so yarh.. juz sat ard n chat lorh.. then teRence aka graSs arrived tOo.. wahaha.. the last to arrive were the O2 ppl.. haha

Played pokercards wif kokpeng, terence, likai n dear.. Stupid graSs.. Eat so much money de.. tsktsktsk.. not bad arh.. Din noe u so gd.. =P haha.. Then when everyone arrived ler.. Started eating.. n dancing to the mass dance music.. haha.. Duno dance how many times still not sian.. haha.. =D hmm.. Then the guys very boliao.. act seh lorh.. tink they are professional models lidat.. kip posing.. haha.. very funnie seh.. Duno whu wus the leader..

Nearing the end, played " pass the watermelon" haha.. terence n kok peng kena the most forfeits.. haha.. they were great sports! Did the forfeits wif enthusiasm.. *three cheers* haha.. But den, i tink u all were aiming for me n my dear rite? haha.. tOo bad lorh.. =Pp

well, gotta go liao.. later going rewatch spongebob squarepants liao.. 05S10 rox!!

tata~xIn

220305

Postings are oUt ler.. Woke uP earLy tO cheCk the posting. Wahaha. Log on at 745. Geez.. Din noe it cld work.. Wahaha.. YupyUp.. i got posted back to pjc.. Hmm.. so yarh.. which is a gOod ting lah.. since i haf grown quite attached to the environment n frenz ther.. THough i still gt bitbit regret i nv apply for business course in nP.. *boohoohoo* haha.. Oh yar! tmL gona go appeaL go arts stream liao. I finali decided. haha. i haf decided to take geog. Thanks sTer, thanks for lending me a listening ear=)

Well.. tink lotsa ppL cld make it to their top choice jc/poly bahx.. Congrats=) Tml sch start ler wor for those in jC.. emm those whu haf been adapted to being nocturnal.. beta grab a few alarm clocks bahx.. =D

pS : gRacie!! spOngebOb roX!! mUx gO watCh.. =D

tata~xIn

oUtIng~

Hmm.. Wus supposed to go klass outing de.. but on my wae out, I suddenly tot of going ice skating. So long nv skate ler. Kinda miss the feeling. Heez.. Well.. Met up wif ster n dear.. haha.. Wus supposed to b double date de. Ster's date very dao kia lorh. Hmmph. Shuai so wat? haha Nt lyke i m interested. Haha. I oni wana see him cuz of ster's happiness sake. Muahaha. Hee..

Well then, we still cldnt decide until JE station. Haha. But then i managed to crap my wae thru. Yup. Off we went to ice skate. Hmm. haha. Well lidat lorh. ster wus a pro. dear erm. beginner's luck dun fall. While me? arrgh.. i wus in the middle holding both of them, n gliding along,nt realising how dangerous it wus. i fell twice. First time, both of them managed to hold on to me so the fall wus nt too bad. Second time, i juz suddenly slipped n fell HARD! i nearly cried. Pain sia! Itz wus lyke the pain shot up frm my spine to my head. Reali very pain. So yarh. I juz slacked ard.. Sing songs.. haha.. I wus juz sitting ard.. watching the crowd getting bigger. Itz sHo scary. Human congestion! U cld oni see clumps of tings moving tgr.. N sum falling tgr.. heez.. That wus why i wus kinda afraid to go n skate.. Well.. eventually i did lah.. held on to ster quite tightly.. Haish.. Then gt this guy..okay.. he very PRo.. kip scraping the ice.. At one point in time, the ice flew n fell into my skating shoes. Cld feel the ice melt due my body temp n trickling down my leg.. I wus so " freaking pissed" *learn frm white chicks de" hmm well..nearly scolded vulgarities.. but i did glare at that idiot! hmmph!

So yarh.. quite fUn.. haha.. Bet tml, i wld b half dead. Wif bruises all ova.. N a slightly sprained ankle *sobx* I nid a wheelchair!!

well, tired ler.. Buaiz..~xIn

Wad a boring sUndaE..

Hmm. Boring sunday. Cant go out. Now is post cold war stituation. Perhaps tml then can sneaked outta da hse. Muahaha. Cold war juz ended nt long ago. Yarh. I lied. I had the intention of telling the truth but sumting tt he said struck me hard. So eventually i kept my mouth shut. Well. For my own benefit.

Wellwellwell. Itz so boring. Juz practised maths. Kinda sian norh. I wana get back to being a nerd soon. haha. Canot slack too much liao. i m kinda still fretting ova the subj combi. Die ler lah. Hafta decide quite soon neh. *sobx* But then. As i m a very lazy person, most prob i will b taking chem maths n econs. I luv geog. But i m very lazy. *hurhur* Well. n i will be appealing to take cheena Ao too. I dun wana see an ugly on my cert. Hee.

Hmm. Gotta go now. Buaiz..tata..~xIn

Lost~

I m so lost lost lost. My mind is in whirl. Cant tink straight at all. I m reali lost. Hah. No one can help. But myself. Tell the truth? Or to lie? Wat if.. telling the truth doesnt work? N end up me getting blasted n grounded for the rest of my life? Wat if.. my lie doesnt get thru? N end up being grounded?

Haiz.. I duno lah. If oni my family is alittle more normal.. That's all i ask for. Is tt too much? Arrgh. I m lyke living under Hitler Rule. Dad wans everyting to go his wae. Is lyke. Itz so hard to communicate. I haf seen other families. Wher parents n children communicate lyke frenz. they cld juz tok abt aneting under the sun. But mine? Arrgh! We cant even communicate properly at all. How great?!

Well. In future.. I wun do that to my kids. I wun try to take full control of their lives.Cuz i noe exactly how it feels. The feeling sux. To the core. =(

Well. I reali very upset. Juz tinking abt it. Makes me cry. *sobx* Gotta go. Hafta face the execution soon. I stillduno wat to do. =(

Crying =(

Todae wus a pretty fine dae. Until i found out sum tings. Okay it sux totally. Making me feel real awful. N sad. N depressed. N i reali feel lyke crying.

Emm obviously, sum ppl's mouth duno wat to sae n wat nt to. One's past. Though tainted wif unglorious moments. Is there a strong need to go ard telling everyone abt it? Is there a need to announce it to the whole world? Is there? I reali understand. Sumone whu claims to b a gd fren. Actuali did this to me. Wat the. Haf you ever consider my feelings before going ard telling ppl things? Can you juz kip ur mouth shut? N juz mind ur own business? Everyone has his/her past. ttz wat i believe. N i do believe ppl can change. I haf seen many myself. Thatz perhaps why i hold a strong belief bahx. Well. Humanz make mistakes. Most learn. But how are ppl going to get up n change when there are these ppl whu simply speak without tinking n announcing to the whole world abt their past? Ppl whu kips on reminding them how much of a failure they were? Yarh. They did wrong. But they do deserve a chance to change dun they? Reminding tt they had been a failure once, wun help them at all..instead discouraging wld b a more appropriate term bahx..

Seriously, i hate you! For making me feel so awful.For making me cry. You sux. A self proclaimed saint doing sucha ting to a fren? haish. i duno wat to sae. Except tt i m reali disappointed. haiz..

I m reali reali reali sad rite now. My dae wus spoilt juz becuz of ur stupid mouth. Are you hapi? =(

Juz leave me alone to lead my own life, will you? ~xIn

~stressed out~

hmm..i m reali reali reali reali stressed out *sobx* Cant help it lah. Been tinking too much? Perhaps bahx.. well guess wad i m stressed abt? hah. itz my subj combi of all the tings. I cant seem to decide on what to take. Well. One ting for sure. I m nt taking chinese a most prob. Well, i did qualified for it by mere luck. But then again, i m reali not pleased wif my higher chinese grade. It sux okay? haish. So i m gona take chinese ao. Shld i?

Well, here are the choices i haf kinda gave myself:

1. chem+mathsC+econs

2.mathsC+econs+geog+lit

How? how? how? Taking three subjs, is risky but at the same time i can b more focused. However, Chem is on its own in this combination. Wad use will it b? Kinda useless leh. Ppl ask me to take up phy.. Eekk! i dun lyke phy. haha. And i sux in it. *hurhur*

The second combi. Emm.. quite lyke it. But at the same time, well, as my memory is very limited. I m damn afraid to b unable to do well. Die le lah. Wat to do? Can sumone pls help?? =(

WO kuai shou bu liao ler lah..=( Well. Shall end it here. I m so stressed out nowadaes. *sobx*

Back!!

Haha. I m finali back frm msia. Hmm actuali din reali went ther on my own accord. My parents kinda forced me to. haha. Well. Yar. Went my uncle's place. My cousins are so cute.. So hyperactive.. so chubby.. so cute!! If you see them, even if u are in an extremely foul mood.. you will cheer up de.. haha.. So ya.. my uncle wus pretty happy to see me. Perhaps cuz he gt one "free" babysitter for the dae. haha.. well.. wus playing wif the kids for the whole dae. They were a handful man. Wus dead tired even before the dae end. Hmm i tink i m a highly qualified babysitter ler. Haha. After all those practices. =Pp

Ohhh YAr.. i cut hair ler.. haha.. kinda she3 bu4 de2..hee.. cut alittle.. nt too much.. but still xin tong wor..haha..=P

Okay..i reali lack slp.. Gotta go slp now.. Buaiz..=)

Results out ler...

Results are out todae.. Well i gt mine.. I wus filled wif utmost disappointment. Cant help it. I din do up to my expectations. Neither to pple's expectations. So sorry..jeremy.. Duibuqi ni..haish.. Hmm.. well todae wus filled wif both joy n sorrows. People screaming due to happiness. N sum cried due to disappointment. Me? i din cry. haha. I wus the one screaming wif those whu did well. N the one whu comfort those whu were disappointed. At least i wus kept busy. No time to tink abt it. Haha. Well done 404unzip.. you guys n gals did the klass proud! well done peeps.. uNziP roX *hurhur*

So..now the next step. To tink abt whether i shld stay in jc or go poly. Hmm well i tink.. my results suits poly beta.. howeva my style of studying *nerding* suits jC..whaha..i m so so so confused. I juz stuck in the middle. Duno wat to do oso.

well..getting kinda late ler.. me feeling slpy ler. Well.. i believe tml will b a better dae. =)

oNe laSt daE tO gO...

tmL ish the BIG DAY! My goodness. haha. time reali flies. Not long ago, we were juz sitting for our papers. Now is the results. OMG! i m feeling the stress liao. haish. Wat if i flunk my humanities? Wat if my highest grade is oni a B3? Wat if i fail eng? Wat if... Haish.. so many "wat if.."s passing thru my brain.. i M so stress out.. haiz haiz haiz... okay.. dun tok abt these stupid tings.. i shall leave all my worries to 2 pm tmL..=)

Well..well.. sian..i haf absolutely nth to do..*yawn* perhaps..i shld pop back to slp..haha..tata.. signing off..~xIn

230205

Okay. I juz reach hm. haha. Very tired. Had a long weary dae todae. haha. well. to begin it off. i brought minglin. zufar. n fungi to crash pJc. haha. miss them so much.

well. hmm. then. todae wus IETL dae. standing for erm..i forgot. oPps. haha. whu cares? hmm.. then they expect all J1 to stay back till 5pm.. what the hell lorh. haha. but then again. i did a BAD ting todae. =Pp me, evon, kok peng, yifang n yvonne tried climbing the 2 plus metres high fences. CUZ the stupid security guard refuses to let us out! well. evon, given her tough physique, she did it without ane sweat. kok peng managed to sneak out thru the main gate. haha. left me n the other two gals. we tried to climb. haha. yifang got stuck on top. cuz her skirt wus hooked by the fences. then kok peng, wanting to b the hero, climbed back in to help out. haha. well. hmm. then. the wae he helped wus lyke. ermermerm. kinda sensitive? haha. but nvm lah. else yifang will b stilstuck up there liao. haha. well me? i cldnt get ova. end up wif several scratches. haha. yvonne too. her injuries were worse. haha. well. i noe it wus a silly act. but it wus damn fun lorh. haha. kinda exciting. MY FIRST TIME. being so notti. =Pp

hmm. okay. juz now before i came here. i went to read one of my klassmates' blog. well. i noe i pissed her off. due to my heck care attitude in doing hwk. well. i simply cant help it rite? when i juz haf too much on my mind n no one to tok to. i simply dun haf ane mood to do my work. wat the hell. okok. i m in the wrong. but if u were me, perhaps u will understand hw awful i m feeling nowadaes. sorrie for pissing you ppl.

Results cuming out soon. dun whether to b happie or not. haha. rite now i m very confused. Sum ppl are worried tt their results mite fail their hopes. of cuz i m worried abt tt. but i m more worried abt the path i m going to take after the results are out. well. i dun wana choose a path tt i mite regret in the future. i m so so so so confused=( haish

well. todae wus okay. Xcept for sum unhapi stuffs here n there. haish. take care pplz. n gd luck for ur o lvl results.=)

190205

hmm. Juz reach hm not long ago. Had mass J1 bbq in sch. haha. Kinda enjoyed myself. hmm. Din reali eat much. haha. On diet mahx. Geez. Been growing fatter after vdae. Been eating too much chocs liao. Kekex. Cant resist the temptation mahx. I love chocs!! Chocs iz my life. Heheh..=P

oH yAr. todae i finali finali finali started learning the guitar properly. Been too lazy liao. haha. i luv my guitar. haha. my "hubby" leh. haha. well. nan de tt i willing to learn patiently. haha. i am amazed by myself too. haha. HOWEVER. i m nt going to bring my "hubby'" to sch liao. todae one of my klassmates fool ard till one of the strings snapped. wad the hell lorh. i wus so heartbroken lorh=( *sobx* haish. so damn violent de my klass ppl. not all lah. haha.

hmm. yupyup. Juz now gt mass dance. woohoo. so fun. kip changing dance partners. well. all the bpians were juz so enthu. haha. bPians roX. haha. oh yar. SoonkEng n hongyun crash my sch. all the guys did the bp cheer. n bp bay. N though it wus so noisy. i cld still hear soOnkeng. he is damn loud lorh. -_-" hmm. had lotsa fun todae seh. haha. mass dance rox. haha. =P Saw ermhmm dance wif jenN wor. haha. gd luck. hope to get gd news SOOn. =)

hmm. well. results gona b out nxt week. yay! so happie. =) duno why. i m juz crazy nowadaes. Forgive me bahx. haha. =P hmm. gona go slp now. very slpy seh. very tired todae. had a violent pe lesson. plus mass dances. i m so dead. haha =P

tata ~xIn

120205

hmm. Long long time nv blog. haha. well. been very sick. N been in n out of hospital for bloodtests n stuffs. Thank God. I m still alive. Everyting iz fine now. Haha. Except tt i reali gt freaked out when it cumz to needles n stuffs. I hate them in fact! haha.

Alright. This entry. I wld very much wan to address to my bestest fren, Raine. Hey gurl. I m veryveryvery sorry. Erm. To b honest wif you, i seriously haf nv seen him more than juz a gd fren. Truly. well. as much as rejection wld do him more harm than acceptance, but reali, i hafta b fair to myself and to him rite? My heart belongs to sumone else. I cant juz for the sake of nt hurting him n juz accept him when i m stil in luv wif sumone else rite? =/

well. Juz now i read his entry on you, my dear gal. See? You does exist in his life. You played a more crucial part than i did. In fact, you did much more than i did. You did more than you shld help. Evryting tt you did for him wus out of love, i tink? hey, it's juz a confession. nt tt i take it lightly. hmm. well, i dun tink you shld take it tt hard too. Fight for your happiness, my dear gal. I can see tt you are stil in love wif him. Y giv him up to me? nonono. i dun wana see tt happening k? well. a relationship build up wif frenship as a strong foundation is surely stronger than a mere normal relationship. DUn giv up k? Gambate =) oH yar. n happie Vdae.

hmm.okay. juz rmb. VDae is cuming wor. haha. everyone seems to b busy wif getting gifts for their loved ones wor. last reminder ler wor. oni left a dae to vdae ler. hmm. me? i spending it either alone or wif frenz. pathetic. haha. but nvm lah. whu said vdae is oni for lovers? haha. =P okiex. well. happie vdae to all! Mae all couples haf evalasting love. takecare

Signing off...~xIn

~ chIneSe nEw yEar evE ~

happiE new year..haha..kinda early to haf tt greeting hor? hee.. todae went back bP. haha So fuN. see so many ex-bpIans. Sumhow, the guys changed most huh? Sum grown fatter. pPL lyke jiawEi gain weight until i almost canot recognise him. haha. nt that he now very fat lah. but he reali look diff. haha. Sum grown taller. haha. oH ya. Seen alot of new hairstyles. Mogu wif his Spiked hair. hmm. i dun lyke it. haha. still prefer the mushrOom heaD. haha. yAngOu wif his kinda long hair. weird. instead. he look beta wif spiked hair. HE DUN BELIEVE me!! arrgH! oh yar. BEST: weiyang.. haha.. he dyed his hair. brown isit? very nice lorh. suits him man.=)

let me tink stil gt wat arh? hmm.. this yr new yr celebration is lyke concert lidat. gt SHE. gt SHIN. haha. woOotz. bUt quite nice oso.=) then oh yar. of cuz we din forget our bP cheer. n Bp bAy. hur hur. =P well.. todae reali had fun. =)

I am sorry, raine. reali reali sorrie.

050105

Seriously, i dunoe wat to blog. Todae iz a sad sad sad n awfuL dae for me. hmm. since last nite, i woke up wif a nitemare n my forehead boiling lyke hell. Den, i cldnt get back to sLp. Itz nt mainly cuz of the fever. But the content of the nitemare. I cldnt rmb the details vividly. But sumhow the nitemare brought back memories. Memories, tt hurtz me to b reminded of. haish. Dun feel lyke toking abt these stupid tings rite now. i still hafing a high fever. Very tongku lorh. =(

Hmm. now the weather lyke preparing for a downpour lidat. The wind. Cold n merciless. haha. i shivering lyke duno what. even dough i haf my jacket on. haish.

Boring lah. Todae went for choir early in the morn even though i am seriously sick. haha. stubborn hor? Yarh. That iz me. Hee. well. i tot it wld b beta to go out than to cope at hm n rOt. haha. well. i m disappointed at pJc choir. it sux. wat to do? haha. sian. i dun feel lyke going to sch liao. itz so nt FUn.=(

well to end it off. i still feel very lost. I duNo wat to expect... when can my pain end? >.<

010105

hmm. sian lah. sian arh. i m sOooOoo stressed! stress. stress. stress. stress. stress. stress. stress. stress. stress. stress. stress. stress. stress. stress. stress. damn stress out lorh. I miss secondary sch life!! haish. everyone wus so much so happier then. well including me. hee. haish. i reali miss life then. now everydae lyke so depressed lidat. haish. i TRIED to b happie. but. duno why. juz cant b reali tt happie. itz lyke i hafta force myself to be happie lidat. arrgh!=(

hmm.. as MRS. BENNY request. haha.. kidding. itz my own idea. i wana continue to write my thanksgiving list. haha. =Pp

yupz. next iz BENNY..diz..oni raine can call.. haha.. normal pplz lyke me call.. dun haf the effect n the meaning liao mahx.. heez. hmm. this guy. i gt alot of tings to sae abt him. but truely, i duno wher to start. haha. Well, in an indirect wae, he taught me how to cherish life. By setting a real bad example in my opinion. hmm. this guy. born shy by nature. haha. hmm. raine stil rmb last yr VDAE mahx? very memorable bahx. haha. You two reali make a great couple lorh. haha. well. how to sae leh? we were great crapping buddies long time ago. haha. cld crap abt almost aneting under the sun. BUT then OF CUz, we werent as close as raine n him lah. haha. =Pp hmm. now. trying to get back to normal lorh. hmm. this guy oso showed me the bad effect of DIETING. wah liew. he is damn skinny lorh. still rmb mah matt? well. Benny will always b a gd gd fren to me always no matter wat. =)

hmm..next.. how can i forget this cute cute little guRl?? ceLest!!! haha.. this little chiobu is already 17 now. ahha..older than me wor. tsktsktsk. but behaviour wise..ermhmm..*coughs violently* mismatched?? haha. my close fren toO. we can go crazy together. tok cock tgr. haf bdae bashes on each other. haha. yarh. we are a crazy couple. =Pp hmm. oh yar. she noes alot of tings abt me. haha. thanks for lending a listening ear wheneva i reali feel stressed out. haha. thanks for helping me kip secrets. thanks thanks my dearest gal.=) oh yar. muz grow up yea? haha. canot always so crazy de. haha. well.. thanks for being my gd gd fren for the past two yrs. though we oni gt reali close during last yr. haha. =) take care ya? luv ya lotsa. =) *muackx* see ? i so gd to u.. haha..

hmm.. thatz all i can tink todae ler. very tired lah.. shall end it here for todae. hmm. duno why recently i kip wondering wat iz the meaning of living so aimlessly. I m juz lyke a zombie. All lost. =(

spEciaL eNtry ^.^

heyhey..suddenly got the urge to blog a "thanksgiving" list. Think gona b very lengthy. cuz too many ppl to thank ler. =)

first on the list..iz ..yarh.. haha..my dear..the one i loved. hmm. Thanks for the good memories. Thanks for changing me. Thanks for changing for me. hmm. well. thanks for loving me once. haha. well. thanks for everyting. U leaving me iz the worst xmas gift i eva gotten. But. I learnt to b tougher. I learnt to b more independent eva. I learnt alotalot. though dey were all in a hard wae. Sadly to sae. I still haven gotten over u. haha. itz so damn hard. =( well. at least we happie tgr once. thanks. it meant alot to me. =) i sincerely wish u n her to b happie tgr..n mae ur relationship last..=)

next. mY bestest fren raine the chiobu..haha.. nt exaggerating lorh. this gurl iz reali pretty..most guys' ideal girL. haha. i can swear on that. well. gona thank you wor. thanks for knocking sense into me wif ur chiminology on love n relationships during my darkest times. thanks for your 'counsellings'. Seriously, you do make a good counsellor. haha. thanks for lending a listening ear wheneva i feel down. i always feel so much beta after toking to you w/o fail wor. =) hmm. u oso taught me sth. haha. ur devotion towards benny. haha. no kidding. i can still rmb clearly what u did for him. reali. it wus very noble of u. though alot of ppl disagree. i dun care. i still tink you two are the best compatible couple ard. hee. =Pp truly. well. thanks alot for everyting my dear gurl. hope to see you when u cum back to singapore. =)

uP next. eriC ng..haha.. the most blur-ish guy i eva seen. he oso my best best fren wor. Always ther for me wif a listening ear. haha. Can always pour my sorrows, complaints, n craps to him de. He nv did seem to mind. haha. well. always blurblur de. haha. tink is by nature bahx. well. Thanks pal. hmm. oh yar. you hor. although on the surface lyke treat relationships very lightly, but i can still see tt you reali do care for the one u loved. haha. forgive me for always lecturing you on tt lah. Cant help it lah. I m a gurL too mahx. well. xie xie ni..=)

hmm..then followed by..matthew..haha..another of my goody fren. a caucasian whu speaks fluent chinese. Amazed? haha hmm. heard tt u already got a fan club in acjc ler wor? haha. so popular wor. haha. hmm.gona thank you for ur preachings. haha. i learnt alot from you too. haha. we went thru quite alot tgr rite? haha. hmm. well. i will always bear ur words in mind de. they kip me going n motivated. thanks i will always try to stay happie de. =) haha. hmm. actuali, i tink u din realise it. i knew u since sec one. haha. in drama n in choir. when mingxuan wus still ard. haha. everyting seem to happen so quickly..well..he wus a great fren to me too..=) well..matt. hope we will b frenz foreva..=) take lotsa care. thanks alot wor. =)

weiyang aka FRANCIS..another of the guailan gang de. haha. duno why he recently becum so religious. haha. matt's influence? haha..well maeb itz quite gd this way too. =) hmm. this guy. always so rebellious. but he reali very jiang yi qi de. take real gd care of me. haha. he made me cry two times. haha. i tink u quite scared of me ler hor? haha. i too emotional ler lah.=P dui bu qi.. haha..well..this guy taught me tt frenships last longer than aneting.. n tt love at our age now is merely nth.. haha..dun see him always so rude n violent.. sumtimes he reali philosophical de lorh.. at least tt gd side of him wus shown to me =) thanks weiyang..u are always my bestest sista ard..=) *winkx*

oH yar! most imptly!! the LamsOon gAng..consisting of francis kang weiyang, matt*ma tai*, jiesheng*forgot wat u all call him ler*, Josiah*sia zai*, jiayong *da tou*...reali gona thank you guys for making my 16th bdae a memorable n happie one =) i noe you guys took alot of trouble to get those gifts for me. thanks. if i m nt wrong, u all sacrificed ur lamsoon time abit isit? haha. thanks thanks. haha. =) you guys rockx man ^.^ continue to strive on wif the lamsooN spirit. =)

i tink ttz quite alot ler hor? dun wana b so naggy. haha. nxt time then continue more.. haha.. bleah.. i reali gt alot fo ppl to thank de..=) hmm..if nt for these gd frenz, i wldnt b ME. haha. itz that serious wor. well....juz wana sae.. THANK YOU to all my great, angelic frenz whu were ther for me always.=) love ya pplZ..*wink* haha. *muackx*

310105

todae wus a boring dae. Haha. Which schdae isnt? Haha. Well. todae i wus damn sick. Wus sick since ysd. But too stubborn lah me. haha. still went sch. haha. well. felt lyke fainting thruout the whole dae. Sian. Todae went to check the tryouts results. Haha. Badminton n odac both dun wan me. Hmmph. fine lorh. Nvm. i stil gt choir. haha. =P

after cheena lessons. me, evon, fiona went lot1. haha. gt a big surprise. haha. i saw CAi hong. my beloved chinese teacher. Gosh. we were all so excited. think ppl whu were ard us gt reali pissed off becuz of our screamings. haha. Just as expected. Cai hong wus shocked to noe tt i m taking CHINESE A. haha. my cheena is reali tt BAD. haha. i dun deny the truth de. well then. saw KANGYU. wah liew. he growing taller n taller. now already 187 liao. i look up at him still nidda strain my neck leh. liew. hai wo feel so inferior. =P well. we chatted for very long. haha. so fun. reali miss alot alot of ppl manz. hee. hope to see u guys sOon..=)

i m bAck ^^

Geez. I am finali back home. HOme sweet home. haha. Hmm. Din blog much for this week. Let me recall...First n foremost, i din go for the student council interview eventually. haha. not back out horx! haha. I actuali wanted to join O2 *the student council* juz to b an ogl bah ler. haha. but then again. i most prob wun b even staying on. haha. hmm. ya..tt wus on erm wednesdae.

then came thurs. I went for badminton tryout. Haha. It wasnt as tough as i tot. haha. but then. I wus initially scared haha.cuz of the pros playing very skillfully mahx. hmm. ya.

Then came fri. haha. actuali i wus supposed to end lessons at 3.30 pm de. But i sneaked out at 12.30 n went hm to rest n grab my stuffs for choir orientation. Went back sch ard 4 n went for ODAC*outdoor activity club* tryout. Itz wus pretty fun n exciting. Had a pleasant icebreaker session. haha. Played "elope". me n my partner very pro. ttz sth i m proud of. we kip kena sabo. but end up we din get forfeited cuz we sprinted very well tgr. haha. then. we had to play a telematch. wah kao. gt sth lyke the napfa five stations lidat. nidda do chinups. o.O haha. lucky mypartner quite fit. he sae no prob. haha. i din force himhorx. haha. oH yar! he lied to me lorh. cuz nidda sprint 400m mahx. then i asked him whether he can run well ornt. he told me he sux. then when itz our turn. wah liew he sprinting lyke hell lorh. i wus practically being dragged along. nearly died. haha. but nt too bad. lucky i can run. haha. then he proceeded to do chinups. situps.climb the wall. then. i wus blindfolded n he dragged me again n sprinted another 400m. Being blind sux lorh. me very kelian. nearly tripped. If nt for mypartner whu wus holding my hand tightly i wld haf fallen flat. haha. the games were pretty gross. then gt interview. haha. i ACTUALI chatted wif the interviewer wor. so nt my style. haha. =P after odac tryout, i wus pretty drained. but stil alive. haha.

then i went for choir orientation LATE. haha. they were having dinner liao lorh. haha. yarh. met the J2s. Gt a few decent-looking ones lah. hmm. ppl lyke shawn. but too bad. he alreadi ming hua you zhu liao. itz so obvious lorh. he n jaz. thruout the whole ting. kip protecting her. tsktsktsk=X the choir VP david. is a fun-loving guy. very nice lah. took real gd care of us. to the extent tt he watch ova us thruout the nite n nt slping. so noble wor. haha. hmm.during the nite we played alot of games lorh.. too bad no haf nite walk. sad. but it wus damn fun as my grp wus a bunch of enthu n fun ppL. haha. hmm. well. then we had ghost stories sharing session. david's idiot idea. hai wo dun dare go toilet alone. PURPOSELY ONE ARH? hmm. then ard midnite we had movie screenings. watched "a walk to rmb", "dodgeball", then finali "dirty dancing" haha. watched till ard 4+ am then everyone is finali aslp haha. i fell aslp during dodgeball cuz i wus too drained liao mahx. CAnt blame me. I had all the physical stuffs all in one dae. CAn die leh. wah liew. then hor the air con damn cold lorh. i wus shivering lyke hell. then i tink itz david whu saw me lidat. haha. then he went to increase the temp. n lend me slping bag. wootz. thanks alot man. reali very gan dong. *sobx* so touched. Geez.

hmm. then morn gt play couple games. haha. shawn n jaz. wah liew. stuck tgr lyke superglue lidat. haha. think they enjoyed it most. hee. play captain ball. my god. seemzlyke dodgeball style lorh. so many injuries. haiyo. so violent lorh. then went play wet games. stupid shawn. wat stupid rule lorh. can blast him wif water bomb. hai wo kena kick out. hmmph. jaz!! ur hubby bully me!! =p the sun damn hot lorh. i kena sun burnt again lorh. haish. getting darker le. dennis i breaking ur record ler.. wootz.. hey muz mit up one dae..dun always b bz wif ur gals.. i m very impt too!!haha..bu yao lian..no lah..reali long time nv see u ler lorh..find time for me k? =)

hmm. then lunch wus yummielicious. haha. yum yum. i tink i wus a little too harsh to david.Opps. i wus reali juz kidding de. reali. i swear. DUn angry wid me hao mah?=( duibuqiduibuqi...hmm..then continue playing captain ball. same ting dodgeball style. more casualties. haha. i wusnt one of them. hee. i oni gt alot of bruises. cuz alot of ppl kip banging into me. wad da. esp tt david. i noe i nt within ur eye level lah. no nid lidat de dui mah? hmmph. hmm. then after bathing. went watch white chicks. haha. wootz. so nice. i duno watch hw many times ler. haha. hmm. well. then shawn looking for trouble lorh. kip pausing to giv announcements. haha. well. then when the orientation ends, everyone helped to arrange back the chairs lorh. then idiot lah. i wus aching all ova due to ysd odac tryout. then had trouble moving the chairs. then david stood ther stared at me lyke i m an alien lidat. N stil asked " y so dead? very light oni mah" arrgh. lucky he gt help me move the chairs after tt. else he reali wld haf gotten a bashing frm me de. haha.

choir pract start nxt thur n sat. whoa. i m looking forward to it man. though they stil dun haf the quality yet. but i juz luv the spirit lorh. everyone juz luv to sing. n is so enthu. coOl. so unlyke bp choir. go ther will feel tt i haf grown older each time.=( haiyo. well. all the results of the tryouts will b out on mon. c lah. if badminton wans me. i dun mind. odac. hmm. stll considering. haha. choir rox. =P

oh yar. my present klas gt klass outing seh nxt sat. dun reali tink will b a success. haha. hmm. i juz hate the rV ppl in my klass. except sophia. they juz sux lorh. act so arrogant lidat. one fine dae i gona smack them man. if they are so clever they wun b ending up in pj liao. IDIOTS!! arrgh.

vdae iz cuming ler. wootz so fast. raine arh..u gd wor. lucky u now in england. else...u noe.. i will..ermhmm..BENNY...=X oops. i din sae aneting wor..=P haha..well..take care ppl..~ tata

~learn to cherish every moment of ur life~

tiring seh..jc life sux..

I m so so so tired lorh. Haish. Tak boleh tahan liao. Jc life reali v tiring. Now oni hafing the lectures n tutorials lorh. N i m already lyke so drained! haish. Cant imagine wad will happen when the ccas start lorh. Oh yar! I got thru the audition. Haha. Went to check the noticeboard todae mahx. Saw shaowei n edi's name. Haha. i wus screaming lyke hell i noe. Happie mahx. Heyhey dun get the wrong idea. I m NOT interested in shaowei. Though i am alwaes lyke sae him my IDOL..haha..ppL talented mahx. I wus juz kidding de mahx. Dun anehw spread. haha. He iz juz nt my type. Though he iz so talented n quite gd looking. Haha.

Oh yar. Todae had sum kinda "interaction" wif our direct seniors. Wah seh. Disappointing lorh. No shuaiges at all. Haish. Saddening lorh. Nearly go 'crash' other klasses.=( Hah. Then hor. Thruout the "interaction" tingy, I wus flipping thru polys stuffs. Kinda made up my mind nt to stay in Jc liao. haha. Duno why. I m juz so tired of studying so hard. No longer motivated as before. Haish.

Alright. My dae sux. T gt the interview for student council. Duno why so many ppl so scared for wat. Juz an interview oni wat. Wadz so big deal? haha. I heck care lah. Iz either they wan me or they dun wan me oni wat. As simple as tt. Haha. Whu cares? Wish me gd luck. haha. =)

~i am learning to let go...~

240105

Juz finished pia-ing two maths C tutorials. Boring. Finished within 1.5 hrs. Haha. I m going back to being a nerd again. I am amazed at myself too. o.O" Hee. Perhaps. I am just trying to force myself to forget everyting bahx. Right now, I dun feel lyke tinking abt aneting liao. I juz wana live my life to the fullest. Not much time left. My op iz cuming ler. If it doesnt go well, haiz. I duno lah. I am nt very optimistic abt this. Haiz.

Dun tok abt saddening tings liao. i must cheer up.

Oh yar! todae met jason at the mrt platform. Haha. I gave him a scare. Cuz he wus so engrossed in msging duno whu lorh. So funnie his expression. Nearly burst out luffing. =P Hmm. Duno why. I kinda miss everyone lorh. Now. See those whom i long time no see de. I will be so damn happie lorh. Hee. Abit sot lorh. ~lalala. I wana organise klass outing leh. haha. DJ!! ORGANISE QUICK! Haha. Else i organise go ESCAPE hor..=P By then YOU BETA TURN UP!! NO WAE OUT LIAO=P

One more thing! Todae i went sch psycho everyone. Haha. Hey bpians! Letz go back bp on cheena new year! Letz break the stupid rules! To hell wif the stupid banning! I am going to bP to do the Bp cheer WITH THE BANGING OF TABLES! N the BANANA DANCE. Letz teach the sec ones n twos..To hell wif HELMET HITLER =P Letz make sure that she has a heart attack n die! haha. i am so Mean. *bleah* Cant help it. Haf been too guai for the past few years. Cant blame me lorh. =P haha. Duno why i so crappy oso.

Hmm..I juz wana b myself. N try to find the old me back. =)

220105

long long time nv blog ler. Sian. Alot of tings haf happened. Been very depressed n stuffs. Bz trying to get over everyting. Trying to get back up on my feet. Doing these all alone iz damn hard. Haiz. Why shld i be crying bcuz of sumone heartlessness? There is no need ler. I learnt my lesson. The hard wae. I dun eva regret noe-ing u. Juz regret losing you. Ended up wif ur heartlessness. Nothing matters now, i guess. i am stil trying to find the old me. The old jiaxin whu iz cheery all dae no matter wat happens. The old me whu enjoys being ard wif ppl n hafing fun. Indeed, the present me sux. Antisocial. Hostile. Pessimistic. Dull. Plain. Sulky. And all. I dun lyke it one bit. I am still in search of the old me. The old me that has been lost after losing you. haish.

Well. Watever it iz. I hafta look forward to my future rite? hmm. Well. Shallnt dwell on those stupid n meaningless stuffs liao.

Hmm. Today change my style of dressing. Wore skirt. Haha. Ray saw me. o.O Gave me this look. Haiz. I noe i normally very tom-boyish lah. A few others oso lidat. *shrugs* Gave sum face lah! Nan de i so Girlish lorh. Haha. Went ngee ann. Alone. Cldnt find aneone. Haha. Pathetic. Nearly got lost. Hmm. I stil very confused wat course to take. Hah. Sian. On the wae out. Saw gracie n meifeng. Then went walk more. Haha. Crazy. Then went mac. Eat till i bloated lah. Growing fatter liao. Die. haiz. hmm. Then pei gwacie to cityhall. I miss working man. Studying is so boring. So stressful. So no life. Working is so much more fun. More lively.

Haiz. I miss Bpians. N bp tOo. Xcept for BUTTERCUp ttz. She is causing the downfall of bP lorh. Stupid school rules. Duno what the hell she is tinking. She sux man. Arrgh! Ban the traditional banana dance. Arrgh! Muz b becuz she duno how to shake lah. Inferior feelings. What is worse? She banned the banging of tables while doing the bP cheers? Arrgh. Sucky lah. No banging on tables then wat? Use head bang on wall meh? Duno wad she tinking lorh. Our heads not as hard as her IRONHELMET lorh. Stupid. Got brain oso dun wan use. Wait. Hold on. Does she even gt a brain? One dae, I gona go back bP n protest. Haf a strike. Get that buttercup off her seat. SHe doesnt even deserve that postition. To hell wif her man.

Okay. I m getting over agitated liao. Sian. No mood to blog liao. Stupid buttercup. Me go rest now. Buaiz. Tata.

261104

Long long time nv blog lo. The freaking O lvls wus over a week ago. No diff leh. Hafta admit kinda relaxed. No freaking exams. No stress. Nothing. But then. Itz reali kinda boring. Haha. Cuz me too broke lo. Cant reali go out haf fun. Usually stuck at hm BABYSITTING. Arrgh! How fun tt iz. -.-"

Hmm. Chalets cuming up lo. YippEe! *three cheers* Gona go suntanning. Haf lotsa lotsa fun. Go crazy. Yup! Haha. I m probably mad liao. Well. Too bad prisch no haf. DJ organise lah!! Letz go ESCAPE!! Heez. *evil grin*

Well. The oni upcoming festive season iz oni Christmas. Hopefully this yr Christmas wld b nicer. N fun-filled. =) *wishes hard* Most imptly. Must haf PRESSIES. Wahahaha. I m very greedy de. Hee. Well. Haf a nice hols peeps! Take care=)